Chaos Survey
by bluerain1984
Summary: Rated to be safe: The chaotic InuYugi groups take a survey. Hope you enjoy the randomness!
1. Inuyasha VS The Survey

Disclaimer: We own nothing. We were just bored.

Chaos Survey.

Part One: Inu-yasha VS the Survey

One day, young Mokuba was finishing an online survey he'd received. When he finished, he decided to dens the survey to all his friends. First, to Kagome.

------------Scene Switch------------

"Kagome!" Gramps called from downstairs. "Kagome!"

"What?" Kagome answered from her computer room, where she had been doing some research for homework.

"Come down here now, the newest shipment of key chains and charms have arrived."

"Coming," Kagome answered. "I really should turn this off. Oh Inu-yasha," she called across the hall.

"What do you want? I was sleeping?" he asked, agitated.

"Could you turn this off for me while I help Grampa?" she asked sweetly, "Thanks!" she called as she dashed off dow the stairs.

"Wait! I never said-!" Inu-yasha tried to protest, but she was already gone. "Great," he mumbled as he walked over to the strange contraption. "Let's see here… Kagome showed me how this thing worked, once. I should've paid more attention. I think you click one of these buttons," he said sitting in the chair. He grabbed the mouse, which he called the rat, and clicked to the upper right hand corner.

"You've got mail!" said the computer with so much enthusiasm it made Inu-yasha out of the seat.

"What the-! It talks?" he asked, looking at the window with the picture of the jumping mail box on it. "I don't like the looks of this. I'd better get rid of it before Kagome thinks I broke it or something." He approached with caution, sitting slowly back in the chair, and grabbing the 'rat' again. He clicked on a button, and suddenly, the message popped on to the screen.

"Take this free survey," he read, "Discover a little bit about yourself, and your friends. Just answer each question, and let the discovering begin."

"It seems easy enough," he said, "Better hurry, though, before Kagome comes back."

Starting Time: 4:00 PM.

Full Name: Inu-yasha

Age: Um, not sure… No ever told me my birthday

Height: Taller than Miroku. He hates it when I I play keep away with his staff, haha.

Eye Color: Yellow. Most girls go crazy about my eyes, but I don't see the big deal. Everyone's got a pair, why should mine be any different?

Hair Color: Silver, like my ears. Are you blind or something?

----------FAVORITES-------------

Favorite Color: Duh, red, can't you see that? I'm covered in it. People can be so stupid

Favorite Activity: Killing demons

Favorite Food: Ramen! Ramen, Ramen, Ramen!

Favorite Music: I kinda like that stuff Kagome listens to. You know, those five guys who sang nothing but love songs. Reminds me of a simpler time

Favorite Possession: My Tetsusiaga! Touch it and die!

Favorite Friend: Kagome, she knows that. Everybody knows that. So why do they get on my case whenever Kikyo shows up?

Favorite Quote: Windscar; no, wait- Die Naraku! I love to say that.

---------- RELATIONSHIPS----------

First Kiss: What? I can't say that, Kagome will get mad at me.

First Crush: I think it was a rock. I'm good at crushing things

First Serious Relationship: Every body knows that! I'm bored.

Ever been cheated on, or cheated?: What! No! I… uh… I never touched her!

Have you ever thought about cheating on your lover, and if so, with whom?: I'm not telling you that!?! You're sick! Oh, okay, I guess Sango, but only if I were drunk.

If you could take your lover to anyone place in the world, where would it be?: The bedroom, but she never wants to go.

If your lover were a flavor, would they be sour, sweet, creamy neugut, or extra juicy?: what kind of question is that? These questions are making me hungry. Are you done yet?:

What would be your ideal wedding?: Wedding!?! Who said anything about getting married? Kagome and I are fine the way we are

-----------MISCELLANEOUS----------

What's your biggest fear?: That Kagome will leave me for Hojo, or worse, that Joey guy! No, worse than that, for Kouga! Than I'd have to kill them all

Do believe in the afterlife: I believe in the after life, that's how I met Kagome. My first girlfriend died, then 50 years later, I met Kagome. What's wrong with that?

Have you ever believed in the Boogie Man?: The what?!

Do you believe Closet Trolls come out at night to steal your personal belongings?: Closet trolls?! What are they?! Now I have to protect from her closet?!

What's your favorite sport: I already told you: killing demons! Doesn't that count?

Dumbest thing you ever did: Well, one time, I drank too mush sake, and- Wait a second! I'm not telling you that!

Most embarrassing moment: You're startin to bug me!

Boxers or Briefs?: What are those?

Ginger or Mary Anne: Who the heck are they?!

Diet or Regular?: Now you're saying I'm fat!?!?! That does it! I'm getting my sword!

Finish time: 5:45 PM

Click to view most popular answers

Click to send survey to all personal contacts.

-----------Scene Switch----------

Kagome carried the tray of food upstairs. She felt sorry for leaving Inu-yasha all alone for most of the evening. "Oh, Inu-yasha," she called sweetly, "I'm back. I have lots of yummy food. I thought we could eat together-" she stopped in tracks. Her jaw dropped as she looked inot ther computer room. Inu-yasha was poised to slice her computer in two with the Tetsusaiga!

"Inu-yasha!" she screamed angrily.

"Huh?" Inu-yasha asked, turning his head.

"SIT!" WHAM! Inu-yasha's head slammed into the floor, and his sword fell from his hand.

"OW!" he cried as Kagome grabbed up the sword and sheathed it. "What was that for?!"

"I told you to turn the computer off, not destroy it," she scolded," It's an expensive piece of equipment! Do you know how much one of these costs?"

"But it was asking me stupid questions! It wouldn't shut up! On top of everything I have to deal with, I gotta worry about Closet Trolls coming out to get you!"

"Closet trolls?" Kagome asked. Her eyes got weepy as she knelt down beside him and hugged him, "Oh Inu-yasha, I'm so sorry!"

"What?" he asked.

"That last command must have really done some damage to you this time," she said, scared and worried, "I'm sorry, I'll never make you si- Oh! I almost did it again! I'm sorry! I'll stop talking now before I give you permanent brain damage."

"Brain damage? What the-"

She put her hand over his mouth, and said, "Don't talk, you're delierious. Now, I'll get a cool rag for your head, and you can go lay down on the couch. Then I'll fix you some nice hot Ramen. Is that okay?"

"Uh…" he said, looking at her large eyes, filled with devotion, "Sure?"

"Come on," she cooed, "I'll even fliff the pillows the way you like."

'This might not be so bad,' Inu-yasha thought as Kagome led him downstairs. Meanwhile, the computer screen flashed "Message Forwarded" 


	2. Wake up Call

Chapter Two: Wake up Call

As Joey snoozed in his Middle Aged Mutated Samurai Gerbil bed sheets, his computer beeped over and over that he had mail. But he was snoring loud enough to wake the dead. That was the scene when his sister, Serenity came to wake him up.

"Joey, it's 11 o'clock! Wake up!" she said, shaking him.

"Five more minutes… I almost have the three story Sundae finished… Hot fudge mountain here I come…" he said, turning over.

"Oh Joey," Serenity sighed exasperated. Then, she saw the beeping computer, and went to see what was going on.

"An e-mail from Kagome?" Serenity said. "I thought Joey and Kagome were through. He'd better not be cheating on Mai," she said. "I'll just have a peek at what Kagome has to say." As she clicked it open, the little dancing figure exclaimed "FREE SURVEY! FREE SURVEY!" 

"Oh thank goodness," Serenity said, "it's just a silly survey… But since Joey's asleep, I'll fill it out for him." she giggled mischievously.

----------Break-----------

Starting Time: 11:05 AM

Full Name: Joseph Wheeler

Age: 17

Height: taller than my best friend Yugi, shorter than Seto Kaiba.

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Blonde

--------------FAVORITES---------------

Favorite Color: I don't know, I wear blue almost all the time

Favorite Activity: Playing Duel Monsters when I'm supposed to spending time with my cute little sister, Serenity.

Favorite Food: Anything

Favorite Music: Broadway Musicals. Especially West Side Story

Favorite Possession: My Millennium Key

Favorite Friend: My sister

Favorite Quote: 'What's to eat?'

---------------RELATIONSHIPS----------------

First Kiss: Not likely.

First Crush: the pancake syrup lady

First Serious Relationship: Mai Valentine, but it's anything but serious

Ever been cheated on, or cheated yourself?: All at once or over a period of time?

Have you ever thought about cheating, and if so, with whom?: Never! She'd kill me

If you could take your lover anywhere in the world, where would it be?: ( Serenity stopped, and asked herself, "Where would Joey take Mai? Oh, that's easy!) The Internation House of Flapjacks

If your lover were a flavor, would they be sweet, sour, creamy neugut, or extra juicy: (Serenity giggled, "Mai can be pretty sour sometimes. Especially when Joey forgets her birthday, or Valentine's Day, or to pick her up for a date.") Super sour

What is your ideal wedding?: A huge ceremony, with white doves released into the air when my betrothed enters the chapel, and a sixteen tier wedding cake that has helicopter in

---------------MISCELLANEOUS--------------

What is your biggest fear: (Serenity thought, then said, "That's easy. He's afraid I'm gonna find out that he' not a good duelist. But I already know, so…") Clowns

Do you believe in the afterlife: I'm the reincarnation of an Egyptian priest- what do you think?

Do you believe in the Boogie Man: I want my Binky!

Do you believe that Closet Trolls come out at night and steal your belongings: (Serenity stopped and looked at the question with intense curiosity. "Okay, this is just getting weird." Then she heard Joey stirring.

"Closet Trolls…" Joey murmered. "Closet trolls are stealing my donuts… Yugi… stop em…"

"Oh well", Serneity said, ) Yes

What is your favorite sport: Duel Monsters

What was your most embarrassing moment: The day I saw Jaws and wet my pants.

Boxers of Briefs: (Serenity said, "Ewww! I'm not touching that one!")

Ginger or MaryAnne: Who?

Diet or Regular: Which ever they're serving with dinner

Finish Time: 11:45 AM

Click here to view most popular answers

Click here to send survey to more friends

Serenity had just forwarded the survey to everyone on Joey's Buddy list when her brother finally awoke with a start.

"Where are the donuts!!" he gasped. "Serenity? What are you doin in my room? You been playin on my computer?"

"Me? Oh, nothing," she said sweetly.

"Okay, if you say so," Joey said. "So… what's to eat? After that dream, I'm starved."

"IHOF here we come!" she said, grabbing her purse as Joey grabbed some jeans and a shirt and went to the bathroom to change. Meanwhile, the computer proudly displayed the message : E-mail Forwarded. 


	3. Yami VS The Survey

Chapter Three: Yami Vs The Survey

Whilst Yugi was showering and getting ready for a hot date with Tea, Yami was sitting in the corner of Yugi's bedroom and pondering his role in the life of this young boy. Then suddenly, Yugi's computer said, "You've got mail." making Yami jump.

"Oh yes, I had forgotten in these modern times that machines had vices of their own." Yami said, sitting in front of the computer. "How does this work again? Oh yes, this thing," Yami said, picking up the mouse. "Now, the arrow goes here to retrieve the mail." he clicked, and the little guy in the e-mail danced around singing, "Free Survey! Free Survey!"

"This doesn't seem important… but Yugi's busy right now."

Start Time: 1:45 PM

Full Name: Which one would you like? Yami, Pharaoh, or Yugioh

Age: Over 5000 years, you lose track of things when you've been trapped in a puzzle

Height: Taller than Yugi, but shorter than everyone else.

Eye Color: Violet

Hair Color: Black with red and yellow highlights

------------FAVORITES------------

Favorite color: Purple

Favorite activity: playing Duel Monsters

Favorite food: Mead mixed with honey. I haven't it in centuries though, and all Yugi want's to eat is pizza.

Favorite Music: I've become quite interested in that Heavy Metal music Yugi listens to

Favorite Posession: My Millennium Puzzle

Favorite Friend: My favorite friend is Yugi. I'd have to say that out of all my friends he is my very best friend

Favorite Quote: It's Time to Duel! You have trespassed in the realm of my soul

----------RELATIONSHIPS-------------

First Kiss: That I can remember? Was with Tea

First Crush: I've never been crushed. I was mummified once, though

First Serious Relationship: Can't remember

Ever been cheated on, or cheated yourself: I've never cheated at anything! How dare you accuse me of unpartisan like conduct!

Have you ever thought about cheating on your lover, and if so with whom?: I don't have a lover. I'd like to have relationship with Tea, but she's Yugi's girl.

If you could take your lover to anyplace in the world, where would it be: I said I don't have one, aren't you paying attention? If I could though, I'd take Tea back to my palace in ancient Egypt and show her the great…. Amenities of being Pharaoh.

If your lover were a flavor, would they be sweet, sour, creamy neugut, or extra juicy: How is this question relevant to the others? Are you obsessed with food like Joey?

What would be your ideal wedding: I can' get maried I'm a disembodied spirit. But Tea's always said that her ideal wedding would be 'on ice'

-----------MISCELLANEOUS------------

What's your biggest fear: That I'll lose Yugi forever, which has almost happened several times

Do you believe in the afterlife: I'm a disembodied spirit, what do you think?

Have you ever believed in the Boogie Man: Boogie? Isn't that the music Tristan listens to?

Do you believe that Closet Trolls come out at night and steal your personal belongings: WHAT?!? Closet trolls still exist? I thought my armies wiped them out ages ago! I must warn Yugi!

Favorite Sport: I can't bother with that now! The closet trolls might invade again!

Dumbest thing you ever did: Taking this survey

Most embarrassing moment: Is this ever going to end?

Boxers or Briefs: That's a bit personal, isn't it?

Ginger or Mary Anne: Who are they?

Diet or Regular: What's that mean?

Finish Time: 2:20 PM

Click here to view most popular answers

Click here to send to all your friends

Yami wasted no time, he leaped from the chair, and ran to the bathroom. "Yugi! Closet Trolls!"

"AGGHHH!! Yami!" screamed Yugi as he grabbed his towel.

"Yugi, we must gather an army quick if we're to get rid of the evil Closet Trolls!"

"Have you finally gone crazy, Yami?" Yugi asked, clutching his towel.

Meanwhile, the computer was beeping and saying, "Message Sent!" 


	4. Sweet Revenge!

---------------Authors' Note--------------

Rating may change simply because of this chapter

Chapter Four: Sweet Revenge!!!

"I'm tired of you popping up and hitting on my girlfriend," Ryo Bakura said as he threw the Millennium Ring on to the computer table beside his bed. "It's rude, embarrassing, and beyond contempt!"

"I can have a life too," the evil Spirit of the Ring, whom we've come to know as Li Zhou, said. "And Sango is just my type. Strong, brave, and drop dead sexy."

"But you're a spirit living inside an inanimate object!" Bakura objected.

"So, that doesn't stop me from having fantasies," Li Zhou said, grinning evilly.

"I don't want to hear this again!" Bakura said, covering his ears, "I'm leaving and this time you're staying here!"

"What! You can't do that!" Li Zhou snarled, "You're my reincarnation! You can't just leave me!"

"Oh? Just watch me," Bakura said, and slammed the door in behind him.

"Stop you little whimp!" Li Zhou commanded, but as he took a step too far from the Ring, he hit the invisible barrier that bound him to it. "Blast, I forgot I can't take more than two steps away form that blasted Ring. Now I'm stuck here, alone and bored out of my skull without to taunt nasty things to."

"You've got mail!" said Bakura's computer.

"Oh? He does, does he? Hmm, there's more than one way top skn a cat. Or in this case, skin a whimp." He sat down at the computer, clicked the in box, and started to type.

Start Time: 3:00 PM

Full Name: Ryo Petina Bakura

Age: 17 and a half

Height: I'm a short little whimp

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: White (I used product)

-------------FAVORITES--------------

Favorite Color: Polka Dot

Favorite Activity: Not telling! I'm dirty little boy

Favorite Food: Plain wassabi with rice

Favorite Music: Show Tunes from 50's

Favorite Possession: Again, not telling, suffice to say I'm a dirty, dirty little boy

Favorite Friend: ( "Favorite Friend?" Li Zhou said. He smiled as he typed) The spirit that lives in my Millennium Ring. He's a really nice guy, and I'd love for him to date my girlfiend, whom I'm dumping btw, cause she won't put out

Favorite Quote: 'Horny Monkeys!'

------------RELATIONSHIPS--------------

First Kiss: My hand

First Crush: My hand

First Serious Relationship: My hand, do I need to draw you a diagram?

Have you ever been cheated on, or cheated?: Yes, I frequently cheat on my girlfriend with my friends' girlfriends, who are much more than she is

Have you ever thought about cheating, and with if so with who: Mai, Tea, Kagome, Serenity, my fourth period English teacher, most of the Pin up girls in Playhouse Magazine, and my shrubbery in the corner, and my hand

If you could take your lover anywhere in the world, where would it be: I won't take her anywhere, but the spirit in my Ring would take her first on a world cruise- but he'd keep her in bed most of the time- and then on fabulous honeymoon in Hawaii- again he'd keep her in bed most of the time. And I'd spend the entire time with… my hand

If your lover were a flavor were a flavor, would she be sweet, sour, creamy neugut, or extra juicy: Extra juicy - wink wink

What is your ideal wedding: I'm afraid of marriage, but the spirit in my Ring would take over the world, and have the entire populace bow before him and Sango as they ascend a great firey throne

------------MISCELLENEOUS------------

What is your greatest fear: I'm afraid of everything cause I'm a perverse little whimp

Do you believe in the afterlife: I'm the reincarnation of a demon named Li Zhou, what do you think?

Do you believe in the Boogie man?: He lives in my Millennium Ring, so yes

Do you believe Closet Trolls come out at night and steal your personal belongings: ("What?" Li Zhou said, "That has nothing to do with the previous questions! What kind of Survey is this?" He stopped and thought, then grinned and typed.) Yes

What was the dumbest thing you ever did: Get a hot girlfriend like Sango

What was your most embarrassing moment: The day I wet my pants in public

Boxers or Briefs: Speedo

Ginger or Mary Ann: How do you know what I call my hands?

Diet or Regular: Mud

Finish Time: 3:10 PM

Click here to view most popular answers

Click here to send to your friends

Li Zhou laughed maniacly as he pushed the "Forward' button, and sent the evil Survey to all of Bakura's friends. "That was fun… but now what do I do?" he asked himself. He was still online. So he grinned, and went to the search engine, typing the words "Hentai! Ecchai ecchai hentai!" 


	5. Getting To the Bottom of Things

-**Authors' Note**- 

Here it is, the last chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter Five: Getting to the Bottom of It.

Inu-yasha, Li Zhou, and Yami all sat on Kagome's couch. Kagome was pacing back and forth, trying to figure out what all had happened.

"All right, for the last time," Yugi said to his counter part, "There's no such things as closet trolls."

"But I fought them!" Yami insisted.

"How could you download porn on MY computer?" Bakura yelled at the evil spirit. "My parents will kill me! Sango won't speak to me!"

"Relax, I did you a favor. Now you're a man instead of a whimpy little boy." Li Zhou said. "Besides it's not normal for guys your age to not look at beautiful women."

"I didn't do anything wrong," Serenity said.

"I can hardly afford to take myself to IHOF, how can I afford Mai!" Joey asked. "And if I don't, she'll kill me!"

"Who started all this?" Tea asked.

Just then, there came a knock at the door. And entering was an angry Kaiba, dragging Mokuba by the arm.

"I think my brother has some explaining to do." Kaiba said.

"Explaining?" Kagome asked.

"Yes, it seems my brother is responsible for the spread of a rather embarrassing email," Kaiba said. He made Mokuba stand in front of everyone assembled. "Go on."

"Um… I'm sorry," Mokuba said, looking at the floor. "I got the survey in my email. It was just junk, but looked fun. So, I filled it out and sent it to each of you. I guess it got out of control."

"So you didn't make it?" Yugi asked.

"No. But I thought it would be funny. I mean… who believes in closet trolls? That's so wacked out I wouldn't even believe it."

"Then I guess we'll figure it out," Kagome sighed. Just then, Kagome's grandfather came in, a phone line in his hand.

"Kagome, what's this phone line doing running from our house to the well?" Gramps asked them.

Scene Break-

"So Shippo, how's you're survey going?" Miroku asked as he sat sipping tea by the fire.

"You wouldn't believe some of the crazy stuff people answered." Shippo said, typing away at the little computer notebook in his lap. "I'm getting stuff from all over the world!"

"That's nice," Miroku said, uninterested.

"I have mail again?" Shippo said as the little dancing mailbox popped up. He opened it, and read. "Hey, it's from Bakura, to you, Miroku." Shippo said.

"Me? Hw come it's for me?" Miroku asked.

"Cause it says 'Girls, girls, girls," Shippo said. Miroku perked up, gently pushed Shippo out of the way, and opened the letter.

Just then, Kagome and the lynch mob burst in. "SO! It was you!" she yelled.

"Huh?" Miroku asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't try to deny it," Tea said.

"You're the one who!" Kagome gasped when she looked at the screen.

"What is it?" Sango asked, looking at the monitor. Kaiba covered Mokuba's eyes, and Inu-yasha took Shippo outside, while the girls mercilessly began to beat Miroku over the head with any object the could get their hands on.


End file.
